Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse: Conscious Awareness
The role of conscious awareness is critical to recovering from narcissistic abuse and is a process that is available to all survivors. At the core of narcissistic abuse is a deep unconsciousness that lies both within the victim and the narcissist. Narcissists can only abuse you through your unconsciousness. They depend on people’s unconsciousness to abuse and manipulate the way they do. A narcissist depends on the unawareness of narcissism and the unconscious parts of you as to why you would engage in the narcissistic dynamic in the first place.
On an individual and collective level, we must become conscious. Consciousness is how we beat them and exit from the perceptual prison they place us in. Since narcissists can only abuse us through our unconsciousness, the answer is becoming fully conscious beings who no longer reside in our shadows. In this article, I will explain the concept of conscious awareness and its role in healing.
What is conscious awareness when recovering from narcissistic abuse?
Conscious awareness is a term I now refer to as being at the core of my work in helping individuals recover from narcissistic abuse. Conscious awareness is simply the process of becoming conscious. I attained emotional healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse by adopting a practice I refer to as conscious awareness. However, this journey towards recovery was far from effortless. During my recovery from narcissistic abuse, I had no clear plan. However, upon reflection, I realised there were moments in my healing process that helped me to regain my mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Healing from this type of abuse was akin to following a recipe with the right ingredients necessary to achieve wholeness. By combining these elements, I put myself back together again.
These elements form the basis of healing through conscious awareness and are in the blueprint of healing through conscious awareness. Through this practice, you learn how to detach from abusive and painful experiences while resolving the unconscious parts within yourself. The dynamic of narcissistic abuse is ultimately one that feeds off the unconsciousness of an individual, which comes from a lack of awareness of oneself. By resolving these unconscious parts, the attachment to the narcissist can dissolve, and everything that attracted you to them in the first place can heal. It’s simple yet not easy and is the only way to find the inner peace, self-awareness, and freedom that is more than possible when recovering from narcissistic abuse.
Becoming conscious by closing the gap of vulnerability
The narcissistic abuse dynamic is one of predator and prey; narcissists have a sixth sense of who they can target. They will instinctively act upon their sense of someone having a vulnerability within them. I’ve talked about closing the gap of vulnerability previously, but here I will talk about how it relates to the manipulation of love bombing. The hook of a narcissist is the act of love bombing, aka idealisation. It is how victims of narcissists get lured into the dynamic, and it is how they end up staying, and even when they leave, struggle to go no contact. Love bombing is an intense, manufactured connection used by a narcissist to gain control over their target. It is sinister and dangerous because it plays on the weakest vulnerabilities of an individual. These parts within an individual are not yet integrated and made conscious.
Self-awareness and engaging in inner work will inevitably close the gap of vulnerability. The gap of vulnerability exists because of deep unconsciousness and vulnerabilities within an individual, making them susceptible to love bombing. Without love bombing, there is no hook, and without a hook, there is no entrapment with a narcissist. It is a simple concept in theory, yet the inner work is far from an easy process for targets of narcissists to go through. It involves disconnecting from an outside source of validation and beginning to cultivate an inside sense of validation that is independent of the narcissist.
Realising that love bombing is a substitute for internal validation
One of my sayings is that love bombing is a substitute for internal validation; I believe this to be true and at the very core of the dynamic between a narcissist. Through the gradual process of becoming conscious, you become aware of why this dynamic plays out as it does, and you can then make conscious choices that disconnect from the emotional attachment to narcissists. Love bombing is an over-the-top, grandiose, intense gesture not grounded in reality. To desire this source of comfort and validation from someone outside of yourself can only mean it is lacking within. Find internal validation within, and you will no longer desire love bombing from a narcissist.
It is not to say that the realisation that love bombing is not real – is not a painful process. I have said before that one of the most challenging aspects of recovering from narcissistic abuse is acknowledging the extent of deceit. It is not simply a case of getting over it and moving on; it is about detaching and going deep within to find what within you makes you susceptible to the manipulation of love bombing. As mentioned here, think of love bombing as junk food that is not nutritious or healthy. The desire for love bombing is about a dependency on toxic substances rather than fulfilling oneself with healthy nutrition that sustains life.
Self-respect and self-worth are the cures to all insanity
One of my favourite posts is self-respect and self-worth are the cures to all insanity. When you engage with narcissists, toxic characters, and other types of abusers, it all comes down to a lack of self-respect and self-worth. You can tell yourself you love yourself, but if you don’t truly feel it, it will never have any weight behind it. Consistent action over time builds up a true sense of self-worth by consistently taking the action that tells your subconscious mind you are worthy. Building self-worth is one of the trickiest parts of narcissistic abuse – but if you keep examining yourself, your life, and the world, you will progress.
There are four steps to building self-worth. These include acknowledging you’re trapped in a perceptual prison, learning to spot and reframe negative thought patterns, embracing your sensitivity and understanding its vulnerability, and seeing the manipulator for who they truly are. Lack of self-worth is a deep feeling within oneself that is more complicated than just snapping out of it. Building self-worth following narcissistic abuse involves multiple layers of understanding, questioning, and rewriting your narrative so that the perceptions and projections of abusers no longer reflect how you feel about yourself.
An insight into my experience of building self-worth
There are different ways one can build self-worth, and my experience included the following: It involved following my intuition and letting go of toxic people who weren’t aligned anymore. Recognising the pattern of going for emotionally unavailable people quicker than before and deciding not to date until it was safe. I did the shadow work so the narcissist couldn’t use my vulnerabilities against me through psychic attacks and triggers.
Through knowledge, I realised that being a highly-sensitive person made me an easy target for abusers, becoming their food source. It also led me to start understanding the paranormal interference aspect of narcissistic abuse, known as the Love Bite relationship, a setup to block you on your path and try to destroy you. Upon awakening spiritually, I developed a deeper awareness of myself and the world and birthed new perceptions. I kept putting one foot forward, which turned into a transformation over time. I learned how to disconnect my perception of self from the projections of abusers so that their self-loathing no longer controlled how I viewed myself.
Breaking free from narcissistic abuse through consciousness
Building up the courage to leave an abusive relationship takes a tremendous amount of courage and energy to do so. It is something that happens spontaneously and only happens when the survivor has truly had enough of the abuse deep down in their soul; the desire to leave has to be stronger than the desire to stay in the narcissistically abusive situation and begin the process of recovering from narcissistic abuse. The day you leave is the day you begin breaking free through consciousness because it is the first time you start listening to your inner voice and quietening out the noise of the narcissist. You begin detaching from that very moment and embark on the painful process of freeing yourself from narcissistic abuse. However, leaving is just the initial step, and true liberation lies in healing and recovery.
Anger can propel you to make the necessary bold moves. It can motivate you to get out of the abusive situation. We believe that anger is a negative, but righteous anger is a powerful human emotion. It has the potential for great transformation. This potential is possible at the individual and collective level. In a state of learned helplessness, it’s hard to think for yourself or make decisions because you’ve been under the abuser’s control for so long. We see this in abusive relationships, but also the abusive dynamic with the government and authorities.
Narcissists cut off your connection to consciousness
The weakened state of being trapped in narcissistic abuse causes a perceived inability to escape and fear of the unknown, which is paralysing. Anger about all of the abusive things the narcissist has done and said to you can give you a moment of clarity. It can make you realise that you don’t want to live this life anymore. Bold moves are necessary because abusers never stop what they’re doing – they only escalate it. Abuse is a pressure cooker. The only way to turn off the heat is to get yourself out. There comes a point where you need to strike while the iron is hot. On an individual level, one must find the strength within them to muster up the courage to escape the abuse cycle for good. Pushing through the discomfort and knowing there is help on the other side are the first steps to this process.
Collectively, people must become aware of the truth to face reality. Truth is the opposite of lies and deceit. Governments and corporations maintain their power by suppressing the truth through perception control. Finding the truth is about questioning and seeing reality for what it is. It is about recognising the contradictions and the games governments play with the people. It is about understanding narcissism and how it infects our society. Understand how most politicians are narcissists but ultimately just puppets for a much more narcissistic and psychopathic force that wants to control humanity. This force is known as Wetiko, a distorted consciousness that keeps humans in a chaotic, low vibrational state.
Recovering from narcissistic abuse: The blueprint of healing through conscious awareness
Recovering from narcissistic abuse and the resulting CPTSD is a tremendous effort because of how multi-layered abuse is and the wide-ranging effect it has on your life. People going through narcissistic abuse lose friends, family, jobs, finances, property, children, health and sanity. Narcissists systematically break down your mental well-being, self-worth, self-esteem, and self-identity. The effects of this narcissistic abuse on the brain are long-lasting and take a lot of healing back to health and a feeling of safety. Recovering from narcissistic abuse is one of the most challenging things a person could go through in life, and overcoming it involves walking the path of the warrior. If you are on this path and feel lost in the darkness, know you are not alone. Many have walked this path, transforming unimaginable pain into strength and growth.
My path led me to the deep wisdom, insight, and awareness of what it takes to recover and become even better than you were before the narcissist. It led me to share my knowledge through Beyond the illusion and provide a pathway to healing from narcissistic abuse. It is why I created the blueprint of healing conscious awareness, which is the building block to achieving freedom, inner peace, purpose, and self-awareness following narcissistic abuse. If I can heal from severe CPTSD, then I believe everyone else can. This work involves an in-depth journey into soul recovery and evolution, unraveling stage by stage so you can access your inner strength and become the unstoppable person you are underneath all the pain, conditioning, and programming that hides you from this truth.
For ongoing inspiration and guidance, follow me on Instagram at beyondtheillusion.co. For any inquiries about working with me, DM me there, or you can book a session or email [email protected] for more information.
