Love Bombing Tactics: How to Protect Yourself
The most challenging aspect of recovering from narcissistic abuse is confronting the extent of the deceit and acknowledging the reality of love bombing. It can be difficult to accept that love bombing is not a genuine expression of affection but rather a ploy to ensnare you in a cycle of abuse. It involves a critical phase of mourning for what was or never was and questioning one’s entire perception of reality. During the initial stages of recovery, everyone feels incapable of letting go of or moving past the narcissist.
There are deep, subliminal emotional ties to the narcissist that only become apparent when we bring the subconscious to consciousness. We hold onto the image of who they appeared to be, bargaining and denying the truth of who they truly are. The spell of love bombing leaves us hypnotised, and we slip in and out of a trance. When we are in a narcissistic trance, we cannot do the necessary inner work. Only when we are actively engaged in the inner work can we truly begin to recover.
The antidote to love bombing: Discover your own validation from within
Love bombing serves as a substitute for internal validation, akin to the effects of hard drugs or junk food. It brings about a surge of pleasure-inducing chemicals that aid in escaping from reality. However, the aftermath of such highs is amplified tremendously. Narcissists are highly skilled at moulding themselves into ideal partners during the initial stages of love bombing, making it highly addictive. Succumbing to it is enticing due to the shadow within you that remains unacknowledged. It satisfies an unconscious emotional need that is only realised after leaving the narcissist and undergoing shadow work.
Opting for the narcissist’s attention and being placed on a pedestal is simpler than committing to the inner work of fostering self-love. Narc flees develop as you start to adopt some aspects of the narcissist’s mentality by desiring the intense love bombing and pedestal treatment. This mental state twists your understanding of love based on the narcissist’s distorted reality, as they place you on a pedestal only to bring you crashing down.
Beyond the illusion of love bombing: Identify and heal your core wounding
The narcissist draws you back into the hypnotic trance of the love bombing days like a vortex. To save your soul, you must sever ties and walk away, no matter how agonising it may be. Unless the vulnerability gap is closed, the manipulation will persist until you understand why this pattern is recurring in your life. By curing the root cause rather than the symptom, you allow yourself an opportunity to heal. The narcissist in your life is the symptom, while the core wounding is the root cause.
Identifying and healing core wounding, as well as finding internal validation, are the keys to curing the addiction to love bombing. Core wounding is both a dynamic and a feeling, with the dynamic arising from a family or social system and the feeling being the outcome. To identify and cure core wounding is to comprehend the dynamic and feeling that leave you susceptible to narcissistic abuse. As you examine how the dynamic with the narcissist is influenced by core wounding, you begin to merge the unconscious with the conscious mind. The ultimate goal of narcissistic abuse recovery is to eliminate the vulnerability gap and become conscious. In a state of unconsciousness, you become exposed to and participate in narcissistic dynamics, relinquishing your power to abusers.
Cease giving your power away to an external source
When we relinquish our power to an outside source, our validation and self-worth become subject to their control. This means that they may withdraw it at any time since it does not originate from within ourselves. With narcissists, validation withdrawal is unavoidable due to their attachment dysfunctions. When they cease showering their targets with affection, it feels like being stranded on a deserted island, with no hope of rescue. This is because, in truth, no one is coming to save you.
Narcissists and psychopaths create a false soulmate connection by manufacturing emotions and reflecting their prey. People spend years, if not decades, yearning for this bond to return, but it is nothing but a mirage. It resembles love, but it is not authentic, much like junk food that lacks nutrition and makes you ill. It is tempting to accept this fake love because seeking internal validation is a difficult process. Therefore, we surrender our power to outside forces because we have not yet created it within ourselves.
Gain access to your inner strength by disconnecting
Internal validation is found by disconnecting from external sources. This forces one to find validation within themselves, accessing inner strength and fulfilling one’s own needs instead of seeking validation from a narcissist. The narcissist becomes irrelevant as the desire for external validation dissipates. The experience with the narcissist is a lesson to become aware of one’s own strengths and potential. When alone on a deserted island, one learns to have a strong sense of self and stop being manipulated by external forces. Once internal validation is achieved, it cannot be taken away, resulting in true freedom.
At beyondtheillusion.co, my intuitive counselling sessions can aid you in identifying and healing your core wounds, leading you towards a new healing trajectory and resolving any unconscious aspects within you. You can reclaim control over your mind and soul and rid yourself of the need for validation from your abuser.
By working together, we can delve into your inner world like never before, allowing you to connect with yourself on a deeper level and become the most conscious, whole, and powerful version of yourself. For support, book a one-on-one session at beyondtheillusion.co or follow me on Instagram.
