Signs You’re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Hurting to Healing

There’s a lot of talk about what it is like to experience narcissistic abuse, but what are the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse? As I look back on my years of recovery, there are defining moments in one’s abuse recovery process. These moments indicate someone is moving from hurting to healing. There are different stages an individual moves through as they process the trauma they’ve experienced and begin to find themselves again. I say process because that is what it is – it is a process that takes time and contains multiple different aspects of healing. Keep reading to find out the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse to discover whether you’re on your way or already there.

Signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse: You’ve committed to legitimate no contact

One of the first signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse is that you’ve left the abusive situation. Not only that, but the telltale sign is that you’ve committed to legitimate no contact. By legitimate no contact, I mean not the kind of no contact where you convince yourself that is what is happening. Often, people will convince themselves they’re in no contact. However, they are still breaking no contact in some form or other. It could be checking the narcissist’s social media or engaging with flying monkeys. It can also be talking about the narcissist to others.

A true sign of healing is when one is firmly in total no contact. The defining marker of no contact is both a physical and emotional boundary. If you’ve not yet committed to legitimate no contact, you are still stuck in the narcissist paradigm and have not yet begun the deep inner healing. This paradigm keeps your focus on the narcissist, whether through direct contact or by watching videos about them. In both cases, it energetically ties you to the narcissist, diverting your energy to them instead of reclaiming it for yourself. Committing to legitimate no contact is the first sign of inner healing after narcissistic abuse.

You’ve processed a lot of the grief

Healing from narcissistic abuse involves moving through the different stages of grief. The stages of grief include seven stages:

1. Shock
2. Denial
3. Anger
4. Bargaining
5. Depression
6. Testing
7. Acceptance

These stages apply to narcissistic abuse recovery because this is what happens in the healing process. The first stage of grief is shock at what one has experienced. The initial shock stage can be intense and overwhelming. Next is the denial phase, which often includes breaking the no contact as mentioned. It can also include what is known as euphoric recall, where the brain tends to remember the good times and dismiss the bad times with the narcissist.

After denial, a lot of anger can surface, and people deal with this anger in different ways. Following anger can be a phase of bargaining, which includes wondering about the what-ifs, seeking a sense of control, and experiencing guilt. Followed by this can be depression and helplessness. However, when one processes the heavy emotions, they can move into the testing and expansion stage. It can involve putting yourself out there again and trying new things. Lastly, acceptance follows as one processes the six stages of grief. Moving through them is a key sign you’re healing from narcissistic abuse.

Signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse: You keep putting one foot forward

If you keep putting one foot forward, no matter how difficult things are, that is one of the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse. When you leave an abusive situation, life will inevitably be challenging. However, so long as you keep putting one foot forward and not engaging in toxicity, you are well on your way to healing. Nothing stays the same, and the more you move out of darkness and agony, the more you move into light and true freedom. As long as you keep putting one foot forward, it will turn into a transformation over time.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is an ever-evolving journey. Inner strength, much like intuition, is a muscle that grows stronger with use. The more you choose your soul’s survival and cultivate self-awareness, the more your vulnerability will transform into internal strength. So, wherever you are on your recovery journey, know that it is all unfolding as it should. The dark night of the soul may be lengthy, but it doesn’t last forever if you continually work on yourself. Keep putting one foot forward, and you’ll get there eventually.

Identifying and healing core wounds: one of the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse

One of the critical stages of healing from narcissistic abuse is identifying and healing core wounds. Identifying and healing core wounds is akin to the essential housework of narcissistic abuse recovery. Though often ignored, neglecting this crucial task leaves life in a mess. Without identifying and healing core wounds, one cannot begin the deep inner work that is necessary to break free from the chains of abuse. It takes the focus off the narcissist and puts it toward the only person who can heal what hurts within.

Identifying and healing core wounds will begin a massive shift in the healing process. It is the bridging of the unconscious mind with the conscious mind. Without this transition, people stay focused on the narcissist without ever looking at why the dynamic is occurring in the first place. The trauma of narcissistic abuse is a harrowing experience; a dark night of the soul and the healing of your deepest wounds. However, it is also magnificent in the lessons and wisdom it presents to us.

Narcissistic abuse is not logical – it is psychic and spiritual, targeting the most vulnerable parts within us

“healing through conscious awareness” – Natalie daly

You’re closing the gap of vulnerability

Closing the gap of vulnerability is a term I coined after I healed from narcissistic abuse. The gap of vulnerability is the space through which abusers can manipulate you and get you under their control. When you meet a narcissist, the gap of vulnerability is quite large because of unhealed trauma. Narcissists have a sixth sense about when someone has a gap of vulnerability. As you learn to set boundaries and connect with your intuition, the gap of vulnerability gets smaller and smaller. Eventually, there is no gap of vulnerability for manipulators to slide through. By this point, one can fully recognise and protect themselves from abusers.

If you’re in the process of closing the gap of vulnerability or it has entirely closed already, this is one of the sure signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse. Closing the vulnerability gap is paramount to the narcissistic abuse recovery process. It is critical to resolve what got you into the abusive situation to begin with and to protect yourself in the future. Without closing the gap of vulnerability, victims inevitably find themselves entangled with another narcissist, and the cycle repeats. Nothing you do in recovery is more crucial than closing the vulnerability within.

You’re trusting your intuition and setting boundaries

Trusting your intuition and setting boundaries are connected because you learn how to set boundaries by honouring your intuition. Intuition becomes your guide for what you will and won’t accept from people and life. It helps you clear the space to remove toxic and abusive people from your life and listen to yourself for the first time. Narcissists can only ensnare people because of disconnection from intuition. They reveal themselves very early on through the red flags. While you would not have known what a red flag was, you would have felt an uncomfortable sensation in your body when they said and did something offensive. You ignored it because you did not have the connection with your intuition or the self-trust to follow it.

Intuition + boundaries

Intuition and boundaries are a powerhouse duo. If you fine-tune these skills, you can ultimately protect yourself from abusers. It is that simple. Narcissists can only abuse when people have never connected with or trusted their intuition or understand the concept of boundaries. That is why when you start following your inner voice, they move on to the next person who hasn’t yet connected with their own. Abusers know, whether consciously or unconsciously, that they need people they perceive as weaker than themselves. Weaker to them means vulnerable. Someone with poor boundary function and lack of internal guidance because they’re easy to target and manipulate. If you’ve begun trusting your intuition and setting boundaries even when it feels uncomfortable, you are well on your way to inner strength and healing.

The narcissist seems like a distant memory

One of the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse is when the narcissist seems like a distant memory. This day comes when you’ve done much inner work and kept putting one foot forward. Eventually, it feels like a distant memory that no longer affects you like it once did. When deep inner work and healing begin, the narcissist becomes more irrelevant as time goes by. Until you look back one day and realise you are a completely different person. The feeling of distant memory will accompany inner peace and acceptance. So, if the narcissist feels like a lifetime ago and a blip on the map of life, you have completed a significant portion of the healing process in recovering from narcissistic abuse.

You’re embracing the prospect of healthy love

In the earlier stages of CPTSD, the thought of ever dating again can be terrifying. Know that this is an entirely normal response to the trauma one has experienced. If the thought of dating again after narcissistic abuse terrifies you, it means there is still more inner work to do. Because there are still fear programs running about yourself and others – you need more time to process these troubling emotions. One of the signs you’re healing from narcissistic abuse is when the thought of dating again becomes less frightening, and you can embrace the prospect of healthy love. Healthy love is an entirely different tone from narcissistic abuse. Healthy love should ultimately make you feel calm and safe.

I hope this article has given you some insight into the signs you’re healing after narcissistic abuse. For further guidance, download my free eBook, Healing Through Conscious Awareness. Discover essential strategies and insights designed to support your inner transformation and guide you through the recovery process from narcissistic abuse. In this book, I delve deeper into some of the topics discussed here, including committing to no contact, trusting your intuition, identifying and healing core wounds, transforming your self-perception, establishing successful habits, and aligning with your soul’s true purpose.

For one-on-one support, feel free to get in touch via email through my contact form.